A Countdown To Music
by Carbuncle
Summary: The party attend an audition at the Gold Saucer to become members of a new pop group.
1. Default Chapter

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
'A Countdown To Music'  
  
"Hey, everyone! You're not going to believe what I just heard!", shrieked Aeris.  
  
"What?", mumbled Cloud. "Did somebody die?"  
  
"No, silly!", Aeris groaned. "Dio, the owner of the Gold Saucer, is holding auditions today for a new band! You all know what this means, don't you?! If we participate, then we could become famous!"  
  
"We already are famous!", yelled Barrett. "We saved the planet from Meteor, remember?!"  
  
"Oh, alright!", she pouted. "Famouser, then!"  
  
"Aeris, why would we want to join a band?", asked Tifa. "We can't even sing!"  
  
"Oh, Tifa! These days, record producers aren't interested in whether you can sing or not! They're just interested in the persons looks!", explained Aeris.  
  
"Well, that means I'm out then.", Barrett slurred.  
  
Later that day, the whole party headed on over to the Gold Saucer. The place was packed with thousands and thousands of young people.  
  
"Woah! You weren't exaggerating Aeris!", Tifa gasped. "I've never seen anything like it!"  
  
Just then, Dio wandered out in front of the audience.  
  
"Heh, still prancin' around in his undies, huh?", chuckled Cid.  
  
"Good afternoon, everybody!", Dio smiled. "Welcome to the Gold Saucer. As you all know, we're holding auditions here today for a brand new pop group, and not just any pop group either. This pop group will be the greatest pop group in the entire world! They'll pop group, pop group, pop group and pop group their way to stardom!"  
  
"Did you understand any of that?!", choked Barrett.  
  
"Quiet, Barrett!", Aeris snapped. "We have to listen!"  
  
"So, if you think you have what it takes, then head on over to Event Square, where our panel of expert judges will assess you on song, dance and... other areas."  
  
"Cool!", cheered Aeris.  
  
"I didn't get any of that!", sighed Cid. "Can someone please explain it again?!"  
  
"I wish you all good luck!", Dio smirked. "And remember; only the best will do!"  
  
The party followed the crowd to Event Square. There were four familiar looking people on stage.  
  
"Hey, those guys on stage: are they the judges?", wondered Aeris.  
  
"Yeah, I think.", said Cloud. "I've seen them before..."  
  
"You fool!", Barrett grunted. "That's Tseng, Reno, Rude and Elena! It's them Turks!"  
  
"Tseng? Isn't he dead?", thought Red XIII.  
  
"No, you're thinkin' of Ex-President Rufus.", Barrett told him.  
  
"Oh, yeah.", mumbled Red XIII. "So, Aeris, shall we proceed?"  
  
The party gathered at the front of the stage. The Turks gave a shriek of delight upon their arrival.  
  
"Well, well, well!", laughed Tseng. "If it isn't those annoying AVALANCHE members again."  
  
"Oh my God!", Elena bloated. "Don't tell me they wanna join a sissy pop band?! Jesus Christ!"  
  
"Hey, we deserve a fair go! Just like everyone else here!", retorted Aeris.  
  
"They're right, y'know?", Reno whispered to Tseng.  
  
"Of course, you are! Infact, I'll even go as far as to let all of you have your audition before anybody else!"  
  
"Wow! Thanks!" Aeris giggled. "Let's rock and roll... or something similar."  
  
Over the next few weeks, the thousands and thousands of original participants were narrowed down to just nine lucky people. Those people included: Cloud Strife, Barrett Wallace, Tifa Lockheart, Aeris Gainsborough, Red XIII, Yuffie Kisaragi, Cait Sith, Vincent Valentine, and Cid Highwind. They all waited nervously on stage in Event Square.  
  
"Woohoo!" Aeris yelled. "I can't believe we made it this far! How did we manage it?!"  
  
"Probably somethin' to do with the pressure we put on the other jackasses who wanted to be in this group.", said Barrett.  
  
"Hello everyone.", yelped Dio, as he hopped onto the stage. "Congratulations to you all, but as you all know, only five of you can go through to become members of the best pop group in the world... ever!"  
  
"Is this gonna take long?", grumbled Yuffie. "Cause, uh, I sacrificed dinner with Reno of the Turks just for this."  
  
"The results have been compiled.", flinched Dio. "Okay, our new pop group will consist of..."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
Who will the new pop group consist of?! How will they cope with the pressure of stardom?! Will Yuffie get her date with Reno?! Will Aeris actually die?! When will these stupid questions end?! Find out the answer to only a few of these things in the next exciting chapter of 'A Countdown To Music'! 


	2. A Countdown To Music

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
'A Countdown To Music'  
  
"Ah, at last you're here. What the devil took you so long?", asked Reno.  
  
"Sorry, Reno, but we're gonna haveta cancel dinner tonight.", sighed Yuffie.  
  
"Why? What for?", Reno wondered.  
  
"Well, you're not gonna believe this but... I'm in a band!"  
  
"What?! You mean the band Dio organised?!", exclaimed Reno.  
  
"Yeah! Pretty swish, huh?! I never expected them to pick me!"  
  
"Oh, so I guess dinner will have to wait?"  
  
"Uh-huh, how about we make it next friday or something? Y'know, or whenever I can fit you into my busy schedule."  
  
"Fine!", he snapped. "Whatever you want!"  
  
  
"The results have been compiled. Okay, our new pop group will consist of... Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockheart, Aeris Gainsborough, Yuffie Kisaragi and Vincent Valentine."  
  
"Woohoo! Alright! Yeah! We're the best!", screamed Aeris.  
  
"Oh, well! I knew we wouldn't be picked...", Barrett slurred to Cid.  
  
"I guess Aeris was right; they're only concerned with the persons good looks.", Cid groaned in response.  
  
"Tifa deserved to win. She's really hot.", said Cait Sith. "Uh, from a *humans* point of view, you understand?"  
  
"Hey, Mr. Dio!", screamed Yuffie. "How much we gonna get paid for being in this band?"  
  
"All in good time, young woman. All in good time."  
  
  
"Ah!", Yuffie smiled. "What a life!"  
  
Dio's voice kept echoing through her head. She couldn't believe that she had been picked to join the greatest pop group in the world. Her life was going to be nothing but pure bliss from here on.  
  
The success of band grew very quickly, and within weeks, Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Yuffie and Vincent were regarded as the five most famous people on the planet. The band, Lucky Five, toured around the world and gave non-stop performances to their legions of young fans. It was an exciting time to be young...  
  
"Woah, I can't believe how well this whole manufactured pop group thing has taken off!", bloated Cloud. "It's like something out of the 90's."  
  
"It's so great that we're so well respected in society, huh?" Aeris smirked. "It's always been my dream to be in a world famous pop group, and now I am."  
  
"Get used to it, chumps!", yelled Dio. "You're the hottest fad since... well, since the last hottest fad."  
  
"Where are we playing tonight, Dio?", questioned Tifa.  
  
"Tonight, you're playing the biggest concert in your entire career: Midgar Stadium."  
  
"Midgar Stadium?! That place is mega!", Aeris shouted.  
  
"Yep, you gotta be ready for anything."  
  
Later that day, the band arrived at the stadium. The place was crowded with assorted people.  
  
"I've never seen anything like it in my entire life!", squealed Aeris. "Dio, will we be able to meet those wonderful people?"  
  
"Uh, sure, but *after* the concert, okay?"  
  
Once the band had prepared in their dressing room, they walked out on stage to start their performance in front of their cheering fans. The party looked totally different to how they usually looked. Cloud wore a white t-shirt, blue shorts and a baseball cap; Tifa wore a bright orange t-shirt and a red mini-skirt; Aeris wore a tight black leather suit; Yuffie wore a pink bikini top and a pair of green shorts; and Vincent wore a leather jacket and a pair of dark jeans.  
  
"Okay, Midgar! Are you ready to rock?!", screamed Aeris.  
  
"Yay!", yelled the audience.  
  
"I said, "Are you ready to rock?!"", Aeris shouted as loud as she could.  
  
"Yay!", the audience were hysterical.  
  
"We'd like to start the show tonight with our first hit single that you all made number two in the charts, and it's called 'Lead Me to Your Heart and Pancreas'!", wailed Cloud.  
  
The band began to sing their song...  
  
"Baby, you always said I was the one for you,  
But I obviously wasn't cause you were off screwin' him,  
I'll give you another chance,  
This is what I'm gonna do,  
I'm gonna get myself up on the groove and dance to the beat,  
Cause there's word on the street,  
That you find my hair really neat!  
  
Lead me to your heart and pancreas,  
You do that, and we'll be just,  
Fine, baby, fine, baby,  
Fine, fine, fine,  
Lead me to your heart and pancreas!  
  
Pancreas! Pancreas! Lead me to your heart and pancreas!  
  
Baby, I think we're gettin' on great,  
How about tomorrow, we go on a date?  
If it's okay with you, then I'd like to slip off your underwear,  
And then get down to some serious hair!  
  
Lead me to your heart and pancreas,  
You do that, and we'll be just,  
Fine, baby, fine, baby,  
Fine, fine, fine,  
Lead me to your heart and pancreas!"  
  
The audience cheer loudly.  
  
"Thank you, thank you!", smiled Tifa. "Our next song is called 'Doin' It My Way'! Enjoy!"  
  
The band began to sing their next song...  
  
"I came home last night, and what did I see?  
Another man staring straight over at me,  
Who the hell is he?  
Why is he here?  
I'm gonna kill you if you don't get to the truth!  
  
Doin' it my way,  
Is what you know I do,  
Doin' it my way,  
That's my favourite rule!  
  
You said you wanted a family, and that is what I gave you,  
I didn't expect, to get a dog with rabies,  
You said I was hot, you said I was fly,  
And then I get home and this image is stuck in my eye!  
  
Doin' it my way,  
Is what you know I do,  
Doin' it my way,  
That's my favourite rule!"  
  
The audience cheer again.  
  
"You're all too kind!", laughed Cloud. "Okay, this next song is off our forth-coming album entitled 'Too Hot to Handle'. It goes a little something, like th-"  
  
Suddenly, Aeris is pulled off the stage by a group of crazed fans. The rest of the band look on in amazement, as she is pulled back and forth like a doll.  
  
"Hehe, calm down, people!", giggled Aeris. "There'll be plenty of time for that after the show."  
  
"We love you, Aeris!", they gurgled, while they continued to hold onto her.  
  
"Hehe, I love you all, too. But please, you're hurting me..."  
  
All of a sudden, both of Aeris's arms ripped off by the force upon them. The young ancient collapsed onto the floor, and slowly started to bleed to death.  
  
"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Tifa.  
  
"You beasts!", yelled Cloud.  
  
"Damn, we can't have a pop group with only four members!", growled Dio as he wandered on stage. "You're all off the band!"  
  
"But couldn't you just get a replacement for Aeris?", Tifa questioned.  
  
"I can't be bothered!", snarled Dio.  
  
"Oh, well! C'est la vie!", Yuffie shrugged.  
  
"Ew, I hated that song!", groaned Cloud.  
  
THE END__________ 


End file.
